Saturday, January 28, 2006

Iron Fister

So it's been a while since I've posted, mainly for two reason.

1. Blackberry is undergoing their lawsuit, therefore I was convinced by an associate to toss it and get a Gameboy DS intead (which turned out to be a bad move).

2. For some odd reason, Blob has lost a lot of weight, thus becoming useless. However, he has decided to keep his skin. It appears his mutant power is the ability to eliminate erections. Not that he didn't have that before...

So I've had to refix things a bit. I went with my backup plan to look like a superhero and get into a fight with a villian. Because I had already copied his moves, I decided to dress up as Iron Fist, as his costume is so flaming that no one will notice that he and I have distinctly different builds and shoe size.

I decided to trick an old student of mine named Crossbones to destroy the building with explosives. You see, this works out well because Crossbones hates toys. Hates them. Hates them. I think his daddy never gave him presents for Christmas, so he decided to blame the toys. And there is an FAO Shwartz in the GM building, all I need to do is get him angry enough to blow the place up. He was a very disturbed student, but very determined and also very talented with explosives.

I proceeded to plant the seeds of hate in him and called him up, disguising my voice...

"Hello?" said his gruff voice.

"Heeellllooo!!! My name is Rusty and I am calling from New York's faaavvorite toy store FAO SCHWARTZ. Are you interested in getting a freeeeee STUFFED MONGOOSE?"

"WHAT? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" he yelled.

"YES, We are giving away free stuffed mongeese! to all the children in the city at 12 midnight tonight! It is our Christmas in January event! Children under 16 only! Come tonight for a freeee fao schwartz stuffed mongoose!"


"C'mon little boy, you must love toys don't you?? Especially a FREEE Stuffed MONGOOSE!!! HUh? Don't you?? You can bring your popozao down here and get a freee mongoose!!"


"Ha, that's funny sir! if you wanted to kill me you would have to come down here at midnight and knock down the whole building!! but that would destroy all the poor stuffed mongeese and no one would get any free toys this Christmas in January!!!""


and he hung up.

Again, sometimes this job is too easy.


Blogger Vegeta said...

wow cross bones isn't eczactly bright is he?

4:59 PM  

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