Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Demolition Duty

"Hello, Mr. Taskmaster. You may or may not know about us, but you have certainly helped us out in the past, although indirectly and unintentionally. We at Ace do two jobs. Whenever a building in the city is destroyed, we clean it up and prepare the foundation for it to be rebuilt."

"Now, a while back, we only made money from old buildings being demolished and such. When superheroes and aliens and atlantis and whomever the hell, caused destruction and knocked some of the city down, the city was primarily responsible in helping to rebuild and we worked at a low government contract, which was not very lucrative. After several attacks from aliens, a few Fantastic Four fights and some with the Defenders, the city was getting pretty bankrupt. After the Onslaught thing, where Professor X had a hissy fit, the straw broke the camel's back and the city couldn't afford any more damage. They revoked their policy to rebuild leaving building owners high and dry in the next super-related event."

"The building owners were left with no way to cover their losses, and that led to some smart insurance companies offering an additional type of insurance dealing with super-related events. Of course for a pretty nominal premium. Building owners thus had a lot of money to rebuild if their building was destroyed by a super-related event. That meant that I could charge my regular rate and make a killing. I own a subsidiary company that charges to clean up the mess, which also allows me to sell the leftover rubble to concrete and recycle companies AND I also get paid to set it up for rebuilding. As you may have guessed, I make a lot whenever superheroes knock down a building."

"So you want me to just knock down a building for you? that's not a problem..." I said, after his long diatribe.

"Well, the clause in the contract says it must be super-related, either from another alien species, atlantean, or a superhero vs. villian battle. If you go and blow it up, it is just terrorism, and the payoff isn't as much. "

"I see."

"In otherwords, you have to pick a fight with a team, and have to cause enough collateral damage to destroy a building. Now, a normal person would be concerned by loss of life, but you see, I'm a CEO, I have no soul. I also eat baby hearts as an appetizer while I sip merlot."

"Ah, yes, baby hearts are quite delicious in the winter. " I responded, although I had only eaten baby kidneys before, or that's what I thought was in the hotdog.

"Yes, so pick a fight with any super-heroes, the Avengers, the Fantastic Four, the X-Men, whoever. Just make sure it knocks down the building. For a job well done, I will pay $3 million."

"That sounds fair to me. What building do I have to knock down? " I asked.

"Oh, its an easy building to get to, I'm sure you've heard of it, the GM building. They have a very lovely view of the park. "

I paused for a second. That's a big effing building. And I certainly didn't have the means to knock it down by myself. And despite being a pretty selfish individual, I'm not into the mass killing of innocents. Any one of them could be the next Lindsay Lohan, Bubba Sparxxx or Matt LeBlanc. This would have to be a big, but precise.

"Ok, I'll do it, but you realize this will put me in a compromising position if I get seen destroying the Empire State. I will also have to hire some other mercenaries to do the job."

"No problem Mr. The Taskmaster, all we care about is the results."

I hung up, realizing I had a doozy of a job.

I had to do a few things first. Namely
1. I have to come up with an alter-ego so I don't get pinned for this caper.
2. I need to pull out the ol rolodex and get me some super-powered allies who can cause some heavy destruction.
3. I have to pick a super team to fight, and one that I can beat. Then I have to somehow get them to the location to fight.

It's gonna be a busy week.


Blogger Vegeta said...

I can help you out a with the team what are the great lakes Avengers doing lately?

2:16 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier said...

Not to give the opposition any ideas, but how about arranging for two super-teams to fight at the location and let the property be collateral damage. The Thunderbolts are usually pretty sloppy.

6:33 PM  
Blogger Taskmaster said...

Hey baldy, I don't tell you to not sleep with your students...besides, that only works when there are new, yet to be introduced characters involved who have the same powers as another super-hero, thus leading to confusion. While I can imitate others, I am already known, so I cannot fulfill the equation.

9:10 PM  

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